Year 3 brought a lot of crazy things. Hell wanted to move closer to where the family farm was. He wanted to purchase the family farm but I was against it. I thought that it would be bad for the family dynamic. The wicked witch (go to in-law tab to get info) was unpleasant to be around on weekends let alone living with her.
The joint decision became a sole decision for Hell. He went ahead and purchased the family farm. It came with good and bad things. It was a good place for the boys to enjoy the outdoors but it was a toxic environment with the constant battle with the witch.
Some benefits to living on the farm was me being able to grow my dog business. I was very passionate about it and made a big name for myself. I made top quality dogs and built some great relationships. We continued the garlic growing and took it to a garlic festival and sold it there. Once again it was a great experience that I really enjoyed doing with Hell.
When my first son was nearly a year old I found out I was pregnant again. Hell and I laughed about it because just weeks before I tried leaving him again. At this point I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. I decided that I was going to go ahead and have the baby. It became very exciting.
During the pregnancy things became worse in the house. The wicked witch would non stop talk negatively about my father in law, Hell and about anything that could be positive. I got to the point where I started documenting everything she did and said that was inappropriate. At about 4 months of pregnancy she slammed a door on my face while I was carrying my child in my arms. Shortly after she left the house and I informed my father in-law that she is not welcome back into the house. I had called Hell to confirm with him to see if this was ok for me to do.
I am not a confrontational person, this was a very hard thing for me to do but it changed me. I started standing up for myself a lot more, defending myself, and voicing my opinions.
Hell and I argued and fought a lot. When we did fight and I would get upset he would pull out his phone and video record me and take pictures (remember part 1 when I found out he did this to his ex girlfriend). after a few times of this I learned to not cry and to just give in to what he said. He made me believe that I could never do anything on my own and that I have no where to go. He continuously used his quote of the greener grass. Another thing he would do is contact my family (usually my mother) to get her involved.
When Hell would leave for the week he would have a written list of things for me to do. It usually consisted of doing chores around the farm, renovations in the house, and other errands that needed to be done. See, I’m not the one to complain. I enjoyed helping out; but when I get yelled at for not doing something on that list and everything else goes unseen, I go into a shell and become resentful.
My typical morning routine on the farm was something like this: I woke up around 7 with the kids. I went out with baby O (my first born) to let the dogs out, feed them and give them fresh water. I would then go back inside to help get my stepson ready for school and get him to do his chores. It wasn’t an easy task when you have a child who wants attention from his parents but they were both off working else where.
My day routine was also busy: I usually had a litter of puppies so I would constantly be checking up on them, fixing their bedding, feeding their mama, and doing the chores I was assigned for the week. I would also maintain the house. I would clean, do laundry, and typically make supper for myself , the boys and my father in-law. About once or twice a week my father in-law would help make supper.
In our 3rd year I had my second boy (we will call him baby Z). Shortly after we had him a lot of things got different. Hell became more aggressive and angry. He was always yelling at his oldest son and calling him a ret**d. He didn’t show much love for his oldest. He never made the time and let him do what ever he wanted; yet got mad when he didn’t do as he was told. There wasn’t steady discipline coming from Hell. I was the evil stepmother, I was the most steady thing in that child’s life, and he didn’t like me because of it. He did love me though, and I loved him.
It was no surprise to me to hear the horrible words and yelling coming from his mouth. His father also spoke this way to him. My own mother walked in one day to my father in-law calling him a f***ing ret**d. Imagine how embarrassed my stepson was.
***A quick side story. A week after baby Z was born he was having a hard time breathing due to mucous blockage. I was freaking out and brought him to Hell, it just so happened at that moments 2 of my dogs escaped their yard and started killing our ducks. I brought the baby to Hell and he grabbed the baby from me and started yelling at me about my dogs. He was getting mad at me that I was freaking out about the baby. Later he was still mad at me and told me that it was no big deal and I need to calm down in a very descending way. The following weekend I found out that he was bragging to his ex and his boss that he saved the babies life and that if he wasn’t there that the baby would have died. Imagine, being a single mom 5 days a week and doing nothing but caring for your children, being yelled at to calm the f*ck down, and then finding out he’s bragging that he’s a damn hero.
Life just carried on and fighting anytime he would come home became normal. It got to the point where I wasn’t attracted to him anymore, I didn’t love who he was. He was an angry person, and I didn’t want him touching me. I was at a point where I was just staying for my kids.
Do you think that is a good enough reason to stay ?
My life 