I never thought I would be a soft as I am with my kids. In the sense of being sooooo loving. When I had baby O, I never wanted him to cry, it made me sad (and leak). I loved holding him and looking at him. It was basically me and him during the day everyday. I was told by Hell and my father in-law that I need to stop doing that, and that I shouldn’t be holding him all the time. Anytime they were holding him and he started crying they would pass him off to me and tell ME that he’s hungry, that he needs to be changed, or that he’s tired, but when I said those things I was wrong and being too much. I mean … at this point you’d like I’d be a man hater.
Right after Hell and I broke up I was still going over to the farm to exchange the boys and to help organize clothes and to pick up a few things that I didn’t manage to get. He is an extremely sexual person and he begged me to have sex with him one last time. I turned him down. He tried to convince me that both of his exes did it for him and that I should too. Baby Z was having his nap and Baby O was on his bed in the same room as us. Hell pinned me down and begged me to have sex with him. I was very scared and wasn’t able to move. To get him off of me I said I would do something else for him instead of sex. It was a very upsetting moment for me. I felt he still had control over me and I still wasn’t sure at that point how to get out of it.
Some time after being separated I found out that Hells best friend also assaulted a man, that his other friend was put in prison for rape, and that he was showing his cousins pictures of me naked that he took while I was sleeping. What was I thinking, you’re asking yourself, right ?
The W.w was a hoarder. When we moved into the farm we had to clean the house from top to bottom. The lead up to the witch’s breakdown (slamming a door on a pregnant woman with a child in her hand) was mine and Hells cleaning spree. We were emptying the cupboards and throwing out food expired from 2011. Yes, you read that right, 2011!!! We also went through the Tupperware cupboard and got rid of anything that didn’t have a match (we all need a Tupperware purge every once in a while) and we got rid of things that were covered in mouse pee and poop. This lead to the witch going through all the garbage bags – ripping them open like a raccoon or your neighbourhood cat. She collected the nasty containers covered in mouse droppings and brought them back in while I was going out. That’s when that incident happened, leading to her not being welcome in that house anymore.
One day is was down on the floor playing with the boys. I had baby O on my back and Hell comes up and slaps me as hard as he could on my ass. My reaction was to jolt up, causing baby O to fall off of me. He ended up hitting his head on a truck and getting a cut between his eyebrows. The whole thing was blamed on me for over reacting and throwing him off. The story was told that way to whoever saw the cut on his face.
My life 